Am I A Real Mum?

Its a question I never thought I would even ask myself, of course I know I am a Mum, I just don’t feel like one.

I feel detached. 

Not because I want to but because I have too.

With this disease being at its worst I need more help than normal, in every sense of the word. From getting dressed to going down the stairs, someone needs to be there.

Because of all this I need to stop and ask for help, I need to let someone take over whilst I push on and recover from this.

This means letting others do alot of the looking after as far as the girls are concerned. I am here, we still talk and cuddle and play, however being unable to do these things makes me feel like such a failure as a Mother. 

And a Wife.

I think I am noticing more because I am so physically drained. Sitting is an effort today, I think my body thinks its been hit by a bus, a big double decker.

I hope they understand, the Girl’s that is. I also hope they know how much I wish I was being super-mum.

Thank goodness for my amazing support.

 

 

Bloody Christmas, Again?!

A fab guest post from the amazing Mummy Never Sleeps, give her a visit after reading, I am sure, like me you will love her! 

Panic. I can feel it building.

Complete total and utter panic. Why? What’s the fuss? What’s the problem? Why do we have to get all up in each other’s faces? What’s got our knickers in a massive collective twist?

Christmas. Enough said, no?

Life pre-marriage and pre-kids, before all the madness ensued and the festive shit hit the fan, Christmas wasn’t about THIS. Christmas was all about getting pissed, where we were going for New Year’s Eve, how many boys you could kiss under the mistletoe, how much time you were getting off work, Christmas wasn’t all this sheer mania.

But BAM, get yourself a mister or missus, pop out a sprog or two, and Christmas is a completely different animal to contend with. Everything is stressful. Everything has to be perfect. And not only the presents, or the turkey, but your entire HOUSE has to be perfect. People buy new sofas, new TVs FOR Christmas. People redecorate their houses FOR Christmas. People lose weight FOR Christmas.

My son’s first Christmas, I was a woman possessed, I was convinced I’d been lobotomised whilst in hospital having him, my attitude to the festive season took on a life of its own and I didn’t even SLEEP because I was so determined for everything to be just right and just so. At 5 months old we could’ve given him a bit of shiny wrapping paper, a Satsuma and a box to play with and he’d have been as happy as he was with the HUNDREDS of pounds worth of toys and clothes and keepsakes he actually received. In the years have followed, I think I’ve gradually calmed down, but the blind panic is still creeping up my chest.

WHY?! WHY are putting all this pressure on ourselves?!

Look! Look at your bank statement right now! See, isn’t that enough to panic about? Or that your little darling has gone and asked Father Christmas (you) for the bloody toy that is sold out EVERYWHERE already in November? Or that you’ve got 15 of your nearest and dearest coming for Christmas dinner? Along with all the other strains of life; kids, health, work, money, families – isn’t that enough to be getting on with?

Why has EVERYTHING got to be perfect? Does that actually reflect on our daily lives?

For me, it’s simply because I now have a family. I now have a reason for Christmas, I now have someone to buy presents for, to relish in every single minute detail, and pray and hope that they never ever forget those precious moments. And that panic that has me in a chokehold, that’s actually fear, fear of forgetting something. Fear of missing something, of messing up those memories.

Honestly people, ’tis soon to be the season to be jolly, but seriously, don’t give yourself a coronary over it, and this year, THIS year, I’m gonna listen to my own advice too.

HUGE thanks and hugs to Chelsea for giving me a bit of space on your blog to have a rant. I hope you’re feeling OK and back to your gorgeous self very, very soon. Love xxx

My Prayers For Multiple Mummy

I know I need to rest, however I also know I need to write this post for Kerry over at Multiple Mummy.

Although I don’t know you Kerry I have been following your story and I pray one day I get to know you.

The strength from you and your family, especially Multiple Daddy has been amazing, especially the recent video he posted.

You would be proud. 

With my own life being turned on its head in the last 12 months, I cannot help but relate to some, of what your family are going through. I just hope I can but all this crap aside and enjoy the good.

Reading back though your blogs gave me an insight into your life and it also lets you see how cruel life can be, especially when you least expect it. 

I wish you and your family all the best for next few months, as there is no denying how hard things can get, however I have a sneaky feeling this won’t defeat you. 

Love to you all, from MS Mummy of Two x

A Face Of Steroids

So my line didn’t last, now I am am the tablets for the rest of the course 2000mg and counting.

Can’t help but feel extreme exhaustion and heart palpitations, I am interested in nothing and I want nothing more than to sleep and be left alone. 

I kow its am extremely selfish thing for a mother to say, however my MS means I am nor normal mother, no matter how hard I try.   

I know there are thousands of people out there worse off than me, however having Multiple Sclerosis and all that goes with it, it no easy feat I can tell you, never under estimate the damage such a vile and unspoken disease can do.

I took a photo at the start of the week and one at the end.

I will be sure that Hubby catches the worst day. I am thinking Sunday.

For now I will say goodbye until Monday, please enjoy my lovely guest posts over the weekend from some lovely ladies.

Wish me luck.

Didricksons Kids Devon Jacket Review

We have been lucky enough to review a Didricksons Kids Devon Jacket in Purple Haze, 4-5 years.

This jacket is very well made, really fab quality, which is just what you need in a hard wearing, long lasting winter coat. The outside is waterproof, with reflector strips on the arms and the back for walks to and from school.

The inside lining is made from a thick polyester, which is really well insulated, perfect for playing out in the snow!

This jacket also has the added extra of an detachable hood, with a fur lining which extends when weather is really bad. Also seams can be cut, to gain extra size as they grow.

It also had loads of pockets, which Pop’s loves as she enjoys carrying things around. Also the bottom of the coat is elasticated so you can do it up around the bottom for extra warmth.

Pops loves her new coat, her won words were “MMmmm snuggly” She also hated the idea of taking it off.

This jacket is really amazing quality and will keep Pops warm for years to come. This jacket retails at £55 and can be found here.

We are really looking forward to trying it out in the snow, I feel a snowball fight might be on the cards.

With the winters getting colder, this is the perfect jacket, well worth every penny.

Check out the Simply Piste-Ski Coats website.