Would I Let My 16 Year Old Marry A 21 Year Old?

So I read an article at the weekend in the daily fail, as you do. It was about a 16 year old who had met and fallen for a 21 year old man whilst on holiday in Turkey with her family. She is now heading back to Turkey to marry said man, and obviously the trolls are out in force.

The headline was: So, would you let YOUR 16-year-old marry the barman she met on holiday? These parents did… and it’s tearing their family apart’

So naturally, loads of parents were saying how awful it is and how they would never let their daughter anywhere near the bloke in the first place, let alone marry him. Fair enough.

This would be great if teenage girls actually did as they were told. But lets face it, some just don’t. I was once 16, I did good things and I also did things I was told not to do, I think its just something young girls need to do.

I think when you ask someone of that age, boy or girl, not to do something, they then go above and beyond to try and do that very thing.

So for me, I think in this case, I would stand by my daughter. I would support her choices, however stupid. Because the more parents push them one way, the more they lean towards another.

Especially with matters of the heart.

So the more you dig your heels in, the further they run. And I for one wouldn’t want to see my child running away and getting married without me being their to catch her when she inevitably falls. Because chances are, she will.

That way I can still be there for her when she needs me. Instead of having chased her away with my views and opinions.

Granted being married at 16 is not what I want for either of my children, especially to such an older man. It is a young age to be married and they do still have their whole lives ahead of them.

But you do only live once. And marriage CAN be undone. Divorced by 17 may not be the best thing in the world, but there are far worse things to have to your name. 

Sometimes all we can do is watch them make mistakes, supporting a choice like this may not be ideal, but it will keep them close.

Parenting is not cut and dry. Mainly because children are not either.

So I ask you, what would you do?

4 thoughts on “Would I Let My 16 Year Old Marry A 21 Year Old?

  1. I completely agree with you, my Mum was 16 when she got with my dad and he is older than her, she fell pregnant with me and they ran off together, because her parents tried to stop it… and 34 years later they are still happily married!

  2. I married at 16 and it lasted 12 years, divorced sadly was nothing to do with us marrying young. I have met mature 16 year olds and very immature people in their 50’s. Saying this I would worry about my daughter, but i worry about her being with somebody I have no knowledge of regardless of age. you cannot label people, we are all individuals.

  3. The issue for me would be more about the country/culture. Ever watch the movie “Not Without My Daughter”. That 16-year old girl may have given up everything including her freedom. Scary. You don’t give any 16-year old what they think they want if you know it’s not good for them. Would I? Never.

  4. I have to agree!! Although it is a ridiculous situation I would never want to push my daughter away! I would stand by her as you say and be there for her when it all goes pete tong!

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