I Am The Mum You Love To Hate!

Yup, I am the kind of Mum people love to hate, I am far from perfect and I refuse to pretend otherwise!

Some people find parenting as an amazingly wonderful experience,  their children are made of gold plated platinum and smell of Estee Lauder, they are potty trained from birth, shit roses and sleep all night and often have lie-ins.

My children are snotty little grebs who spend an inordinate amount of time picking their noses, burping and talking about poo! Beboo is obsessed with dog biscuits and makes a bee line every time the gate is left open and Pops makes it her life’s work to be the loudest child known to man with no real filter!

Some mothers bake all day and have the tidiest house. Washing is done, toilet is ready for the Queen to visit and Husbands are cleanly shaven and extraordinarily  happy. Beds are made and there is nothing crusty on any of the carpets. They go to WI and have regular coffee mornings in Starbucks.

Our house always has this constant battle going on, between crust, crumbs and the hoover, with the latter always coming out on top. My Husband and I do always have cleanly shaven heads, which for some is off putting and our love of tattoos make us top of everyone’s guest list! HA! Toilet humour and lack of personal space is something we thrive off. If you want to shut the toilet door, be prepared for Pops to drop by and judge the shape of your shit! Wormy or mountainous, she can name them all!

I shout and I get irate, albeit briefly and regretfully, there is also no real discipline  regime in this house either, we count down from 5 and have no idea what would happen if we got to 1, probably bribery.

I am not ashamed to say I have bad days and wonder who’s idea it was to have kids. 

With all this, I am still a Mum, a very different Mum but a Mum nonetheless! I need help and I am not afraid to ask for it. We are far from normal and I like it. The girls are happy, normal children, who will always be top of the priority list, I have holey pants and rank bras to prove it!  

Most of all though, we love each other an awful lot. I am so proud to be the crappy, over sharing, open Mum that I am, I would much rather be that than perfect, perfect is boring! 

10 thoughts on “I Am The Mum You Love To Hate!

  1. I can so relate to that!!
    I horrified a few people today on a certain mums message board in a discussion about how some ladies will only go out the house if they have matching bra’s & knickers on….I was WTF I have more important things to do than match my underwear up….I’m lucky some days if I have a matching pair of socks on never mind bra & knickers….lol
    You’re right perfect is boring!!!!

    1. It so is! I am like you, I never wear matching socks, I dont even have matching bras and pants!!! Good god I barely get dressed sometimes! People are so ‘fake perfect’ sometimes! xxx

  2. Before I had kids, I thought I would be the perfect parent. I soon realised that there is no such thing, and that nobody will think that of me apart from those who matter- my kids!


  3. Ahhhh I so love this post, best I have read this year!! I can totally relate to what you are saying! My house is in no way what I imagined it to be when we brought it . It is the total opposite, and never tidy for more than 10 minutes! but surprisingly (for me) it is not important because we are all happy x

    1. Thank you lovely. I am the same. Literally just tidied then poof its back all over the floor! Ow well they are happy 🙂 xxxx

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