My First Time #lifeisreborn

Now, this isn’t a birth story, but more about how my life changed in an instant. It’s more about my first time becoming a Mum which I think fits perfectly with Johnson’s baby new advert coming out, remembering when life is reborn, when just one minute can change your life forever.

My #lifeisreborn moment would have to be the first time. Mainly because it was the first time I had held a baby, let alone feed and change her nappy. I was clueless and still in shock from the whole birth part, but still some memories will be with me forever, those are the first few memories when my life changed.

When Pop’s was born, she looked like a porcelain doll, just was just perfect, and I had made her, I made that perfect face:

newborn

 

The birth was a right of passage in itself, but that is a story for another day. The first few moments of her life we were able to get our very first family photo, one I will always remember. Mainly because I look scary.

hospital

 

No wait, that’s not even the worst one…

me 1st

 

The fact I even had my own pillow makes this photo even more odd! Anyway hours after birth Hubby was still with me. I was unable to move for a while so he took charge. I was safe with the knowledge he was there to hold my hand and show me the ropes. It was so nice watching their bond grow, I watched him become a Dad right in front of me.

hospital together

 

But, time still rolls on and eventually it was time for him to leave. So I was left with Pops, never having even held a baby, I was left to my own devices on the ward. They were trusting me with this little life. A life that came with no instructions or how to guide, it just was.

Pops had a low temp so I was asked to hold her close for a while. So I did. About 6 hours later the midwife came round and found it highly amusing I was still sat in the same position, frightened to put her down in case she was too cold. I decided to try my hand at feeding, however Pops got the hiccups. So, like any clueless new mother I felt the need to ring my buzzer, not really sure what I thought was happening?!

Anyway, after the horrifically scary hiccups went away, I was barely able to keep my eyes open. It was sleepy time.

liv 1

 

Oddly enough, I went to sleep and woke up before she did and suddenly knew how to be a Mum. I laid everything out for her, new clothes, nappy, everything. I was sat waiting for her to wake up and when she finally did, I changed her, clean clothes a bottle and some much needed cuddles. Suddenly the whole Mum feeling washed over me, I was no longer scared pick her up, I was her Mum and she was my responsibility.

In a split second we went from being a couple to becoming a family and overnight I slowly became a ‘real’ Mum and all our lives had changed forever 🙂

me and liv

 

Head over and watch the Johnsons Baby #lifeisreborn advert. What was your life changing moment?

Trying To Conceive? Pregnant? Thinking About It? Read On….

So, I see plenty of new women thinking, talking about or actually being pregnant. Part of me wonders if they really, truly know where this journey may or may not take them, so I am writing this post for you.

To help you out.

Firstly, if you are thinking about whether to start a family, here are a few things you could try or simply stay away from completely.

Never and I repeat never do a trail run with someone else’s children, or use them as an example as to what could be. Other people’s children are completely not the same and never will be. Their sticky faces will never be the cute kind, and their shit will smell just like it states. Shit. When you have your own, then that is the only point when it becomes okay to be covered in someone else’s poo or wee, that is the only time it is socially acceptable. And its the only time you won’t mind.

Next, if you want a ‘likeness’ get a puppy. If you find yourself suffering with the night waking and endless clearing up, then its probably not the right time. Plus you always have the ‘pets for sale in’ pages on facebook or other online selling pages as a get out clause. They don’t have those for children. 

Next is pregnancy, now this will seem like a long jaunt, but it is not. Make the most of the peace and try your utmost to exploit it to the best of your ability, it is the only time your partner will offer to be your footrest for the evening without moaning.

Right, now comes the literature. It will give you some guidance on what you will need after the birth, but no amount of googling, friend asking or ‘how to’ books will help you when it comes to the getting it out part. In- fact the only use it may have in the getting it out part, is being ammunition to throw at said partner, after that its futile.

You will ask the age old question, ‘when will I know?’ Now trust me, you will know when a small person is trying to make a less than brisk exist from your vagina.

Then the actual labour. Well, there is not much I can tell you here. Other than, no-one can make it go away, you can do it and being filmed for any kind of TV programme is probably not the best route.

So, if you are also thinking, how do I prepare myself for kids? Then I will try and give you some tips on how to prepare and the changes in lifestyle to expect…

Food sharing, this one comes in to play quicker than you may think. It might be useful to go out for dinner and offer some food to random strangers OR volunteer at your local playgroup and eat dinner with them. Only then will you know how it might be.

Toileting and showering with an audience. This one is easy, you could either use public toilets with the door open or have someone follow you into the toilet at home whenever you go in. However make sure you ask them to occasionally sit on your lap so you get the full effect.

Another bit of fun might be getting someone to record themselves screaming and setting it to go off a few times a night, for around 30 minutes a time. But do remember to splash some wee or calpol on yourself for a more real feel.

Lastly, speed eating. This one is an art, both at home and out and about. You need to learn to sit down, shut up and eat your food. HOWEVER to begin with, it must be around 40 minutes after it has been made. That way, it will be a much more realistic temperature. However at some point they will feed themselves, better known as ‘eating with there hands and wearing it’. Then you really need to speed eat. No talking and only the occasional chew is allowed. Definatley no enjoying it.

So, those are the few tips, practise exercises I am willing to share right now. The rest you will have to find out yourself, but trust me, you will be fine! 

#bountymutiny My Final Thoughts.

So this week, the bounty mutiny has been the talk of twitter, or at least for some people it has. I wrote my post against the cause because truthfully, they really did not bother me when I had either of the girls.

Truth be told, my photo of Pops still takes pride of place on the fireplace next to her younger sister.

Anyhow, it seems the people who are for the mutiny, took to twitter to poke holes in people, I watched on more than one occasion as a friend was pulled apart, not just for her views on the bounty side, but personally too. I was actually disgusted to see what some people said to her, to what they deemed socially acceptable.

Truth is, I doubt these people were really arguing about or for the debate, because the twitter bashing was so much more than that. It was childish and demoralising.

It was the same group of people as always. People who need to grow up.

Then, some people who poked said holes and who were supposedly having a ‘debate’, wrote posts about how each persons view is different, but that doesn’t make the view ‘wrong’ or, at least that is what I think they were going for? This really was incredibly ironic as they started the attack, seemingly because of their view on the whole thing and the fact it was different?

For me it cemented the fact this was nothing to do with the mutiny at all. It was personal.

So, back to why I am here at 9pm on a Saturday night. I use MY blog to voice MY views, same as I use social media for MY thoughts. They may not be to every persons taste, but that does not make them wrong or give people the green light to start goading people into arguments.

So as far as the bounty mutiny goes, I am over it. I have my reasons for going against it as do many others, but that gives no-one the right to bitch at me OR anyone else for having a different opinion.

PLUS I have way too much going on to debate it right now!

 

Mutiny On The Bounty, Why So?

Yes I know its the Bounty Mutiny and not the other way round, I was being facetious. For a few weeks I have been reading all about how awful the Bounty people in the maternity wards are, there have been some horrible stories, however sometimes it begs the question, are these stories fact of fiction and have we heard all the facts?

See the Bounty Mutiny came about from the lovely people at Mumsnet. Now I have nothing against Mumsnet per se, its more the forums I have an issue with, but that is a story for another day. Anyway it seems in there crusade to get there point across they have failed to give the second side to the story. To me it seems they have set out to seek those horrible stories and nothing but.

Where is the balance?

I am sure these are many people out there who have had bad experiences, no-one is perfect by any stretch of the imagination, well I say that but I did watch one blogger get personally attacked on twitter yesterday by another blogger because she voiced her opinion on this ‘mutiny’ god forbid anyone not agree!

 It seems the blogger who did the personal attacking may have some kind of power complex they need to address?

Anyway, what people fail to realise is just how much income the NHS get from the people at Bounty, an NHS which is already at breaking point. I have had two children and at each birth I have seen first hand just how stretched they are. From understaffed to over worked, I saw both of these extremes. 

Taking away a valuable source of income to something so invaluable just seems so, well, Unjust?

I am sure it also brings the lovely people over at Bounty that added income also, which could mean they would stop those incredibly useful packs they give out to each new Mum, some Mums rely on these packs and they really were a great source of information to myself as a clueless first time mother.

That could all be gone.

Now as far as the Bounty staff on the maternity units, they all go by a set of strict guidelines, ones I am sure all but a minority adhere to. Now if you don’t want her to come round and photograph your child then that is fair enough, simply ask them to come back later or tell her you are not interested, goodness me it seems to me at least one apposed person likes to lash out at the unsuspecting so why not use the tongue you were born with and speak out. 

If they Bounty lady still bothers you then inform someone about it, ask for there managers details, its why they are there and I am sure they would be more than happy to help and get it sorted.

So, like a real debate there are two sides and this Bounty Mutiny needs to be evened out a little, so please if you agree please click here and sign the petition to say no to the bounty mutiny. You can also follow and support on twitter by using the hashtag #SayNoToTheBountyMutiny

Thank you!

Letting Go Too Quickly…

Last night I was looking through the gallery on Hubby’s phone. There was a photo of me and Beboo in bed when she was teeny tiny, this photo bothered me, it re-enforced the fact that she will be my last.

Her teeny arms and legs, her sleepy expression whilst cuddled up in my arms. I have grown used to the fact the Pop’s is growing up, I am enjoying every day, as she really does make me so proud, even when she is a madam. I have blogged in so of my past posts about my MS making it too difficult and unsafe to have more babies. I have no say in it really, which as a mummy of two lovely little girls, is really hard.

I find myself welling up at the thought of never being pregnant again (although my pregnancies are rough) and never giving birth again. Most people get the choice, not me. I know how lcky I am to have two already, some people don’t even have that, but sometimes that makes it worse as I know what I am missing.

Seeing these photos brought a tear to my eye and have stuck with me all day. I feel its so unfair that My Monster has once again, decided which way my life goes.

I will be sure to enjoy everyday I have with my girls, even through the shitty nappies and tantrums.

For all the ladies out the with choices etc, I envy you greatly.

Here is some photos of Beboo and Mummy.