I have spent the majority of my life thinking I have to explain and justify myself to people, like I need to? I don’t. The only person who needs to feel okay with me is ME. Well, here is what ‘me’ faces.
I face the uncertainty of life. I face living each day and enjoying it for what it is, because tomorrow, I might be in pain, uncontrollable horrendous pain. As much a living each day goes, I am starting to do better. The only thing that needs to stay the same is my own little medicated routine.
Except every day is not the same. Tomorrow I might be awake at 8am but the next day 11am, so I have to adapt and my meds need to be adaptable.
The anti-depressants I have come to rely on, are easy, along with my gabapentin. I do them when I get up or when I remember, there is no time scale. But my Copaxone, well that needs the right time each day. I needs commitment (like a really aggressive bunny boiler)
I just cannot seem to give it the commitment it needs. I feel like I am bloody starting to fear it.
It really is no fun and I am starting to hate it. Just can’t seem to find the want to put it into my life, no matter how many people go on at me.