My Mood Is Lifting!

Well, I have done the hard week.

I have done the stabbing and the drugs and the hideous bus crash feeling and now I am finally feeling relief.

Relief from what I am not sure but I am feeling so much happier in myself. Upping my antidepressants was discussed this week, however I am pleased to say, I do not need to, big smiles all round! 

Of course there are a few things keeping me going, the Husband for all his sins, the sister and most of all my girlys.

Oh and being the Christmas freak I am, my sister kindly put up my decorations, so our beautiful tree has also brought on a smile 🙂

So, for now at least we can enjoy the festive season which is all I want for the girls.

I am finally allowed to feel my version of normal for a while, with my Tysabri infusions due to start on the 18th of this month, I am sure the peace won’t last long, however I will treasure every minute.

Are you ready for the man in red?!

My Crutch

Recently I have felt much more relaxed with myself. In no way am I okay with my MS, however I am not letting this get too me so much.

There is one reason and one reason only for this, my antidepressants. I am not ashamed about suffering with depression and I have talked about it on many occasion.

Like most who suffer with it, it plagues me daily.

Facing it and accepting help is really the only way to deal with it.

I know having MS means I am highly likely to suffer with it all my life, as scary as that is, I know I have no choice.

I like the fact I have been happier, I handle things much easier than before. However there is a reason for this, a reason you may judge me for. Which is the fact I only feel better due to my antidepressants. I know it and right now I am more than happy to use them as a crutch to get me through.

Some people might say, when you start relying on them it becomes a thing. However I know for a fact they are not addictive. I simply just need that help to get my mind in the right mind-set.

To the people who tell me its wrong I simply say Fuck You. 

Spend a day in my shoes THEN you can have a real opinion.

It has taken a mondo dosage to get me in this ‘normal’ mindset and for now, I know its keeping me alive sane.