Thats A Good Droop

If having children has taught me anything its that after having them, things start to go down south. Literally. 

Yeh, I’m talking droop. 

Be it, bum, boobs or indeed, stomach, they all decide to take a big old sign of relief and simply, ‘hang’.

So not only do I feel like the youngest person in the room, I also feel like I am having to hoick everything up every five minutes, So it does not spill out the sides. I am sure having all the droop automatically enables me to prove I am older than that 16 year old with long legs? Right?

I am almost certain I am one day, going to take off and fly into the sunset with my bingo wings, all the time trying to keep my tummy from smacking people on the head. No, it doesn’t bear thinking about does it?!

Its not something I ever really though about at the age on 19. I mean, you see wrinkles all over the TV, but never once does anyone ever whack out the old droop. It needn’t be full on boobage, a good tummy shot or ‘bum clappers’ would more than do!

FYI, if you think you may have fallen victim to the droop, and bum clappers are your given aliment, then please, do not wear leggins and a thong. It is not a good look for anyone plus there is such a thing as full pants. 

VPL was once a fashionable thing don’t you know?!

Its certainly way more pleasing to the eye than bum clappers that look as though they have almost eaten your thong.

Don’t worry though, I feel your pain. We have to think about a whole different list of fashion blunders when the droop takes hold, including the ones that sneak up on us when we are simply enjoying ourselves.

It gives a whole new meaning to ‘letting it all hang out’

Even getting dressed is a mission these days and moist conditions almost always need the help of talc, its the only way we can get into these pull in pants without getting angry, causing sweat and making the whole scenario worse.

Yes, talc is my friend, our friend.

So, here I am. 24 and a victim to the good old droop. I completely blame my children and intend on letting them enjoy it just as much as me. Ah the fun I we will have.

Watch this space!

Thinking About Trying Again? Adding To The Brood?!

Are you thinking about trying again? Adding to the family? Building upon your brood? Are you?! ARE YOU?!?!

Why, why would you do this to yourself? Have you not read my parenting woes?

Please do.

Well, if you are thinking about dipping your toes into the considerably murky water that is “having more children” then just read on and take heed. 

Firstly think about the age of your current monster child, you might think a small gap would be lovely and they will play together in perfect harmony all perfect and such like. 

Think again. 

That does not happen. I have about two-two and a half years between mine and some days, it is hell.

I am literally expecting Satan himself to come a’knockin. Okay, maybe a tad dramatic, but really, its no picnic.

Picture it. You have done all the things your mummy mind can think of, you come to a halt and can feel a good old sit down coming on. You perch your bum on the sofa and relax. 

“CAN I HAVE A DRINK?” Up you get, do the drink then head back to rest those feet.

“CAN YOU WIPE MY BUM” Up you get, wipe the bum then pray you are allowed a seat.

Its quiet, you have finally scored a sit down to have some well earned brain farts….

“MMUUUUUUUUM BEBOO IS EATING MY HAIR” Pops then delivers the obligatory smack to the small child then the tears start.

You do the whole explaining thing, don’t hit your sister, she doesn’t know hair is not edible blah, blah. Then you have to listen to an almost four year old tell you how she hates her sister and asks to send “it” back. 

Yup, it turns out, the whole love thing does not come easily to the little people, much like letting mummy have any kind of personal space.

So if you think you are ready for a regular ear bashing, no peace, no time to do anything but stop the small one from bouncing on the dog, looking at the clock in hopes bedtime is nearly here. Having fights about who’s bowl is who’s and why she is wearing a Minnie Mouse top today, then by all means go ahead. 

Don’t come crying to me when you need a sit down 😛


5 Ways To Get Payback…

Aaaahhh children, we all long to create them, however when they are here we spend some days wondering why we decided it would be a good idea to have them?! 

No? Just me?! 

Anyway today I have decided that when they become 15 years of age, I am going to get my revenge on those snotty little critters!

I have chosen 5 ways in which I will get my own back on them and I have decided to share them with you, in hopes that likes me, you will prepare your payback way in advance.

  1. When they are sleeping soundly in their beds, loving every little minute of the soft warm cosiness, I will wake up at 4am, go into the chosen siblings rooms and scream at the top of my voice “I HAVE A RUNNY NOSE” I will then return to my bed.
  2. When they are waiting for their turn in the shower, I will hold them back by refusing to go in until they let me shower in their slippers!
  3. When out and about with them in town or at our local supermarket, I will ask them very loudly why that man has such a rubbish beard, knowing that the man was in-fact a woman.
  4. One day I will ask one of my lovely daughters if they wouldn’t mind making me a drink. Once I have the drink, I will take a sip, shriek “I didn’t want orange” then cry until I get a new drink.
  5. Finally, I will save the best for last. When they offer me one of their biscuits/crisps/sweets or whatever, I will say thank you and proceed to sneeze all over it! 

So, there is my plan of action, I am sure I will need to add more as they grow! So do you have any payback ideas for your little ones?!



Kids In Care

Okay, I’m not going to lie, I am sat here watching CBBC on iplayer. Why? Because I love Tracey beaker. 

Yes, ever since Danni Harman popped up on my screen many moons ago, I have been hooked and now, the new series The Dumping Ground is basically Tracey Beaker Returns, without Tracey Beaker.

As odd as it is without her, I think its still a great show.

Growing up I have to admit it did glamorise the whole ‘being in care’ thing. It made it look like a fun and happy place, like being at home and having parents was, well, boring?

However as the how has grown, it is nice to see some of the stories behind the care kids. Although they are fictional characters, I have no doubt there is some truth behind each and every background story. 

From and adult (or my) perspective, it makes you realise that not all homes are happy ones.

Sometimes it gets me wondering what goes on behind those front doors. Are there children happy like my own?

Our family life is far from perfect and I myself am a far from perfect mother, my MS often makes it hard to play or do all the things mums are supposed to do, however I always make sure the girls are happy, healthy and safe.

It sicken me to think other parents are not doing the same.

Although I know each and every person has their own story and problems, I still feel some bring it on themselves. I also feel that if you are ready to make and have children, you should look after them, put them first and be the parent they deserve.

Still, it makes you wonder, if everyone is the ‘perfect’ parent, why there are so many kids in care and stories of abuse and neglect in the news.

There is no excuse for causing a child to come to harm or neglect.

Cough, Splutter And A Very Tired Mummy

Last night was vile, Beboo was not having any of this sleep malarkey!

Hubby was downstairs, due to Beboo being with me and I appeared at 3am, asking telling grunting explaining that we were swooping as I had not slept a wink!

Beboo has rarely been poorly in the 9 short months she has been on the planet, so this cough/cold has really shaken her.

Pops on the other hand. Well, dramatic does not cover it. I get she doesn’t feel well, I completely get this, however screaming because you have a runny nose, repeatedly is simply not necessary.


I am so tired, running round after both girls, making sure they are happy and comfortable, with their scheduled calpol stops.

With snot and vomit flying everywhere, I am beginning to wondered if this will ever end.

We all need a good, old fashioned sleep, can you hear me Beboo? SLEEP. Its good, you should try it. 

I will shut up now, in a feeble attempt to get some sleep…

This is our snapshot of quiet today. A rare sight!