So yesterday Ninny went in for her operation on her eye. She has been waiting ages. Every time we had a reason we couldn’t go. Important family events, illness and all sorts of unusual things that just came along at the wrong time.
So when we got a call about a cancelation on Thursday for the very next day, we didn’t really have a choice. We had to go for it.
Grab the bull by the horns so to speak.
So that’s just what we did. Woke up at 6am on Friday by a very excited Ninny. She had her special hospital bear from “the hospital” (me) ready, so it was all systems go.
The day went without a hitch. She chose me to take her down for sedation. Which I totally didn’t expect. I was ready for her to be all about Daddy, but it was a Mummy day.
I think we were both secretly terrified walking down to the room. I sat on a tiny chair and placed my giant 6 year old on my lap (she is not a baby anymore. I can guarantee you that much) My arms don’t work well these days, so I was worried I wouldn’t be able to carry her across. And as the gas took longer and longer, I was worried I would let go altogether.
But I didn’t. I held her closer as the gas got closer. She wriggled, but that was something they had warned us about. His hand was holding the gas right underneath her nose but she was still not out. It was replaced with a mask and I watched her slowly drift off. Still coughing from the gas. She went floppy and I was asked to place her on the bed.
Then told to kiss her goodbye. It was the hardest kiss goodbye yet. I was trusting her life with someone else. My little baby looked so genuinely helpless.
I walked out crying, then cried for a further 10 minutes.
The waiting was horrid. Truly awful. All I wanted was to see her smiley mush.
45 minutes and we were finally called to recovery.
She looked so helpless. She woke up for a few seconds but drifted back off quickly. We wheeled her through and we let her sleep. The young boy previous had broken down when he woke up. I was terrified of Ninny doing the same. How would I cope? I wouldn’t cope. I would stand back and let Ben take over.
But I didn’t.
I pulled up my big girl pants and my Mumness took over. She was far less shouty than he was, but she had slept for far longer.
I cannot tell you how amazing it was to be able to kiss her again. Still today we watched a film together and I didn’t let her go the whole time.
Her eye is still very inflamed and she’s still seeing double. So we are taking it easy.
Ninny decided she wanted to do a video diary, so please give them a watch. People I talk to now don’t remember the eye op they had as a child, but Ninny can, and other people can see what it entails.