Smells And All – Marriage

When you get married, you forget about just what you are agreeing to in all the excitement.

It’s all about dresses and loving each other in this fairytale life you imagine.

The day is amazing, the gifts are amazing, the party is amazing.

Five years later and you are sat with your marriage certificate looking for some fine print that states they must wash at least once a day.

I mean come on.

Not one person told me I would have to deal with all the smells he throws my way.

Am I meant to do it with a smile on my face?!

Can I tell him to open a window, or does the marriage thing mean I just have to cover my nose and power through?

There should be a clause or some clear guidelines in those vows.

Whether you married a nose picker or a finger sniffer, you just have to grin and bear it.

Thems the rules!

Stinky feet, sweaty pits and closed in farts. You just have to deal with it.

You have to sniff on through it, all the time still loving them.

So we do it, stink and all.

Because that’s what love is. Right?!

 

The Half Term Holiday

It’s been a while. Which is something I am working on. But in my defense. The last few weeks have been busy, I have some amazing news which I will reveal soon and I think we are set to get busier. So I have taken to recording our little adventures (which are mostly from the sofa)

So please what the video, subscribe to my channel and if you like it, give it a cheeky thumbs up?

Would I Let My 16 Year Old Marry A 21 Year Old?

So I read an article at the weekend in the daily fail, as you do. It was about a 16 year old who had met and fallen for a 21 year old man whilst on holiday in Turkey with her family. She is now heading back to Turkey to marry said man, and obviously the trolls are out in force.

The headline was: So, would you let YOUR 16-year-old marry the barman she met on holiday? These parents did… and it’s tearing their family apart’

So naturally, loads of parents were saying how awful it is and how they would never let their daughter anywhere near the bloke in the first place, let alone marry him. Fair enough.

This would be great if teenage girls actually did as they were told. But lets face it, some just don’t. I was once 16, I did good things and I also did things I was told not to do, I think its just something young girls need to do.

I think when you ask someone of that age, boy or girl, not to do something, they then go above and beyond to try and do that very thing.

So for me, I think in this case, I would stand by my daughter. I would support her choices, however stupid. Because the more parents push them one way, the more they lean towards another.

Especially with matters of the heart.

So the more you dig your heels in, the further they run. And I for one wouldn’t want to see my child running away and getting married without me being their to catch her when she inevitably falls. Because chances are, she will.

That way I can still be there for her when she needs me. Instead of having chased her away with my views and opinions.

Granted being married at 16 is not what I want for either of my children, especially to such an older man. It is a young age to be married and they do still have their whole lives ahead of them.

But you do only live once. And marriage CAN be undone. Divorced by 17 may not be the best thing in the world, but there are far worse things to have to your name. 

Sometimes all we can do is watch them make mistakes, supporting a choice like this may not be ideal, but it will keep them close.

Parenting is not cut and dry. Mainly because children are not either.

So I ask you, what would you do?

What next?

I am going to be honest, yesterday was a hard day. I shouted, I cried and to be honest I felt and still feel lost.
Needless to say I am not the only one who suffers with my MS. My family do too. More recently however my husband has become, well, distant. I seem to always make him feel down and angry. He holds this constant blank expression.
I won’t lie, I hate this expression. Part of me finds this expression selfish. We both have problems with depression, but I try that extra amount to not let mine show too much, I have two children and I want to protect them from it, I don’t want to let them see or feel any of it. Although I know they do. 
I know Hubby finds it harder to hide the way he feels, I guess I don’t understand why, I don’t see what is so bad for him. Until yesterday.
My sister reminded me that it was no fun to watch your wife change and go through all these things. That the not knowing effects him just as much as me. I guess I didn’t think about it like that. I guess because I am living it, I don’t always see that other people are too.
 
We had a massive argument which resulted in everyone in tears. I simply felt horrible and drained, I felt like as well as everything else I need help with, this is just another burden on the people I love most.
 
I have been secretly cancelling appointments because I hate having to ask Hubby to get the time off, as it makes him stress which makes us argue which leads to tears. I know I have my sister to help, but there are some which don’t fall on her working days. Sometimes for some appointments I would like Hubby there with me.
 
After rowing and crying and shouting we have today finally got to sit down and talk. Although right now I don’t feel like we have sorted everything, I do feel a little better. I guess the fact my MS won’t go away, it will always be here makes me frightened Hubby will get tired of it all, like myself, and leave. After all he can walk away from it. I however will always have this monster sitting on my shoulders. 
 
Don’t get me wrong I know he loves me and I pray, probably won’t leave, the thought still taunts me everyday. 
 
MS is as much an emotional thing, as it is a physical thing. I need to remember this and also that it affects everyone involved in my life, not just me. I have decided I am going to ask my nurse for a sit down with Hubby, so we can talk it all through together, to understand a bit more about the unknown, as odd as it sounds, I hope it will help. It has to help. 
 
So this is where we as a family currently stand. I guess you could say we are now all a little bit lost.