I Just Suck!

Today has been one of those days. The kind of day that starts of with a smile and a little bit of optimism, but ends with a headache.

Pop’s went back to play school, she was mega excited to go which was nice. She ended p having a lovely day, which made me really happy.

Beboo and myself however were not so lucky. She decided today was a day she wanted to be held ALL DAY. To the point where I couldn’t hold her up much more. See she loves to stand, but being 6 months old its not an easy task, certainly not one she can do alone. Needless to say there were points where I simply had to put her down, to use the bathroom etc, you know all the luxuries we mothers are so selfish about having. Also, all day I ate 4 biscuits, I kid you not, this was my fuel for the day.

I had one of those ‘head in hands’ moments. The kind where you wish you could just have 5 minutes of quiet, to simply sit down, another selfish luxury.

I also tried my hand at doing tea, a nice tea. I ended up boiling all the water off the potatoes, to be fair I am partially sighted and I did try my best.

Also I still have not heard from my neurologist, I also think the post lady hates me, for many reasons.

Please let tomorrow be easier on the ears and arms?!

Hey ho, I just suck!

Letting Go Too Quickly…

Last night I was looking through the gallery on Hubby’s phone. There was a photo of me and Beboo in bed when she was teeny tiny, this photo bothered me, it re-enforced the fact that she will be my last.

Her teeny arms and legs, her sleepy expression whilst cuddled up in my arms. I have grown used to the fact the Pop’s is growing up, I am enjoying every day, as she really does make me so proud, even when she is a madam. I have blogged in so of my past posts about my MS making it too difficult and unsafe to have more babies. I have no say in it really, which as a mummy of two lovely little girls, is really hard.

I find myself welling up at the thought of never being pregnant again (although my pregnancies are rough) and never giving birth again. Most people get the choice, not me. I know how lcky I am to have two already, some people don’t even have that, but sometimes that makes it worse as I know what I am missing.

Seeing these photos brought a tear to my eye and have stuck with me all day. I feel its so unfair that My Monster has once again, decided which way my life goes.

I will be sure to enjoy everyday I have with my girls, even through the shitty nappies and tantrums.

For all the ladies out the with choices etc, I envy you greatly.

Here is some photos of Beboo and Mummy.