I Just Need A Change…

So over the past few days we have been considering a move. I love my house, the area, the people, school, playgroup and being near town but at the same time, I just need a change.

I grew up in a small village, my Mother claims it didn’t do me any good going to a small school, however I really do beg to differ. I think growing up somewhere with so much community and having nothing but fields,and tress did me the world of good.

Granted at the time I didn’t see it like that, but now I do. I see how good it was for me growing up, to be in a place that was safe and almost cut off from everyone else.

I had freedom from the moment I could walk, to roam at my mums, build dens in the trees, play cricket and camp out at night and to explore the village without a worry. Looking back, it was bliss and its something I really want to try and give the girls.

For us there is so much to consider. I want to stay at my Doctors, have the same care and Nurse because I am comfortable and well looked after, I don’t want to loose that.

Then there is Pops. She has just started a new school, she is making friends and has strong bonds with the friends she has had since playgroup, so part of me is thinking we should stay close to town, but then 6 or 8 miles is not far and she can still see them, go over to play and have them over to us.

So its not a ‘real’ issue in a sense.

There’s so many reason to stay here, but then equally, there are the same number of reasons to go. I am really torn as to what is the best choice for us, but then I think we just need a change.

I need a change, I really do.


Home, Here We Come……

So next week, we are having a new kitchen fitted. The man who lived here before us refused the upgrade, so when we moved in we were quick to ask about it. Now come Monday, it’s happening and we are moving out for a couple of days, back home to my Mums.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love my family, my Sister will be there also and we have become closer since she started helping me three days a week, however moving home, even for a few nights, scares me.

I lived there all my life so really it shouldn’t matter, but I am so used to having my own space and living as a family, it will be beyond odd for us.

And then comes my MS. Yes my amazing Sister looks after me and my parents are always there for me, but part of me worries about bringing this disease into there house. By that I mean the way we live. The way us as a family and my MS lives is different to any normal household.

Also every part of me likes to be comfortable, especially since my diagnosis. Familiarity is important to me and the crazy-ass monster in my mind.

I am very aware that I am bringing this into somewhere that isn’t used to it. We are a very close family, however unless you have lived through the good and the horrific of this damn disease, you don’t really understand it.

Getting up and pushing on it not always going to help, some people might think I need to ‘get on with it’ but that is so much easier said than done on a bad day. Bad days can sneak up and Hubby is getting used to noticing this and helping me through it.

Also, now my next treatment is just over a week away, I am really starting to feel it again. Literally counting down the days.

So, I am really hoping this next week goes smoothly and I have a nice kitchen at the end of it. I hope they still love me after four days!