So today I made my final choice on my whole treatment thing, when I say final I mean for now, obviously.
I needed to think of everything, the kids, hubby and myself. I having been going back and forth for ages, with the endless what ifs. Now I have finally made up my mind.
I am going to stop my Tysabri infusions and start on the daily injections, copaxone.
Now for anyone with MS, they will think I am mad, I have been offered steak and I am taking burger. I am trading in my posh car for an average banger. However factoring in every part of my life and every emotion I have has brought me to this.
I need a break from hospitals, Tysabri needs someone who can commit (wow it took me ages to find that word in my messed up brain) I am not ready. I know I will have to face it daily, however it comes with so many less appointments and check ups, it will give me time to deal with myself, to get into the right mindset for tysabri. An option which I will always have.
I am not saying never for this incredible drug, its simply just not the right time.
I can stay at home with the girls and I can start to try and move on with the MS, I can find the real strength to fight.
My mind is mush and I need to put myself back together.
One amazing lady told me ‘its called the present because every day is a gift’ Now I am not soppy, however these words have stuck with me.
So, please feel free to join in this next chapter.