Would I Let My 16 Year Old Marry A 21 Year Old?

So I read an article at the weekend in the daily fail, as you do. It was about a 16 year old who had met and fallen for a 21 year old man whilst on holiday in Turkey with her family. She is now heading back to Turkey to marry said man, and obviously the trolls are out in force.

The headline was: So, would you let YOUR 16-year-old marry the barman she met on holiday? These parents did… and it’s tearing their family apart’

So naturally, loads of parents were saying how awful it is and how they would never let their daughter anywhere near the bloke in the first place, let alone marry him. Fair enough.

This would be great if teenage girls actually did as they were told. But lets face it, some just don’t. I was once 16, I did good things and I also did things I was told not to do, I think its just something young girls need to do.

I think when you ask someone of that age, boy or girl, not to do something, they then go above and beyond to try and do that very thing.

So for me, I think in this case, I would stand by my daughter. I would support her choices, however stupid. Because the more parents push them one way, the more they lean towards another.

Especially with matters of the heart.

So the more you dig your heels in, the further they run. And I for one wouldn’t want to see my child running away and getting married without me being their to catch her when she inevitably falls. Because chances are, she will.

That way I can still be there for her when she needs me. Instead of having chased her away with my views and opinions.

Granted being married at 16 is not what I want for either of my children, especially to such an older man. It is a young age to be married and they do still have their whole lives ahead of them.

But you do only live once. And marriage CAN be undone. Divorced by 17 may not be the best thing in the world, but there are far worse things to have to your name. 

Sometimes all we can do is watch them make mistakes, supporting a choice like this may not be ideal, but it will keep them close.

Parenting is not cut and dry. Mainly because children are not either.

So I ask you, what would you do?

#Blogging4Madeleine Happy Birthday Lovely

So today is Madeleine McCann’s 10th birthday, the beautiful little girl who went missing whilst on holiday in Praia da Luz, Portugal in May 2007.

”Blogging4Madeleine”
I cannot begin to imagine loosing either of my girls. My heart skips a beat when Pops is walking by the side of me and she suddenly jumps out of my eye-line, I am suddenly filled with fear only for her to be back seconds later.

The thought of not knowing where my child is, who she has become and whether or not he even remembers who I am. To go to bed every night with only questions. No answers.

So when the lovely Caroline from A Mummy’s View asked for support, I was more than happy to sign up!

madeleine9_rotating_image

 

Here is a photo of what Madeleine could look like now. Please remember, if you think you have seen her to ring your local police station immediately AND

  • +44 845 838 4699 or investigation@findmadeleine.com

  • OR Crimestoppers in confidence on 0800 555111 or www.crimestoppers-uk.org

Lets try and bring her home.

Acceptance

With all the recent goings on over here, I lay in bed last night wondering. Wondering if and when I will ever accept that things are not how they used to be, they will never go back to how they were.


I don’t think for one second a year ago I was in any way, shape or form, normal. No way. I had so many different things happening inside me and no way to explain them all. However now I have a ‘reason’ as to why I was feeling and experiencing all these things, doesn’t make it any easier. I thought it would. I know the day I found out, as well as the sadness,anger and being scared I also felt relief, relief that now I could have the help I needed now there was a real reason as to why all these things were happening. The relief however was sort lived, it was simply followed by more sadness, pain and an unknown future.


The support I have from people close to me and the wonderful fellow bloggers has been amazing, everything that has been said I have taken in and sometimes it has even made me smile and relax. I am still no closer to accepting it.


Whilst laying in bed, wondering, I wondered how long was ‘normal’ how long does it ‘normally’ take people to become comfortable or accepting of this thing? I have known for nearly 6 months but it all still feel so brand new and fresh. Is this okay? I just can’t seem to shake it off.  


I guess part of me is starting to want to accept it but mentally I just can’t

You dont define me

You dont define me. Tonight I have come to realise that my MS does not define me, but sometimes I find myself letting it define me without even realising it! I asked my self why I was letting something like this determin who and what I am.

What defines me is being a mother, my two wonderful children have made me who I am today. Im not afraid to say as I teen I was not popular, and I was very insecure, and that still follows me around today. I was a very jelious person and at one point this left me alone. They say leopards dont change there spots, but I can safely say I have. Im now much less fussed by other peoples thoughts about me, I no who I am and I no im happy in the life I lead. People who know me and judge me for my past and my mistakes etc, need to look at themselves before judging another. If having MS has taught me one thing it is to take nothing at face value. You have no idea the fight someone is having inside there skin.

Being a wife also defines me, it has taught me to love and share and listen. Until recently I hated hubby going out and things but now it doesnt bother me so much, he comes home to me and were learning to trust a great deal more. Although I would like to come along sometimes but thats simply to meet new people and show them there is a face behind the MS.
My whole family and lifestyle is what makes me who I am from my mum to my dad, my sister to my brother, mother in law to sister in law they all make me who I am and have shown me that endless love and support is out there and I should not be afraid to ask for help.

I feel maybe I could be moving on from sadness, maybe all that has gone on, I am starting to accept, as I have all the support behind me I need to go on and face this monster. I no I will have my down days and I no I will still struggle. Ill cry those unstopable tears but I will remember to live everyday as it comes and to smile when im feeling it most, a smile goes along way.