Wee Wars…

We all know by now, as parents going to the toilet is more like a treat than something we have to do. I didn’t think it could get any worse, then wee wars began.

See, it was around 7pm, kids bathed and in bed, Hubby had taken the dogs for a walk, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to have a wee.

I made a break for it.

I could finally have a pee in peace.

I sit down, start the flow and low and behold I hear a “MUUUUUUUMMMM, I am coming down to have a toilet”

I inform her I am currently mid flow, and she will have to give me a minute or so. See my MS means I don’t always wee like a normal person, I sometimes take longer and need to fight with my bladder to make sure I am done. Or this will happen.

Anyway, she informed me she couldn’t possibly wait and needed to go right now, so I should get up and let her go?

Really?!

I waited, I picked the perfect time, yet here I am being told I need to stop what I am doing, which is peeing and let the four year old with a stronger bladder go take over.

There are no words.

pee

 

To make it worse, when Hubby arrived back, he simply walked in, shut the toilet door and did his thing. In peace.

Really?!!

I swear, from now on I am going to barricade the door and claim the toilet back.

Or at least I’ll try…… 

Today I Had A Wee.

Okay, so I have been thinking whether or not to write this post all day, but if I don’t, you won’t really know what it feels like to be me right now. So I have decided to stuff what everyone will think and simply be honest.

People with a nervous disposition may want to turn away.

So today was stressful, we decided to go shopping in Worcester. From the get go, it was the most unsuccessful trip ever. We gave Beboo a drink, as usual, however she decided to pour it all over herself and me being the biggest turd, did not have a change of clothes.

So Primark was our first port of call.

Apart from people standing in the middle of the walkways, which I totally do not get and do not appreciate being evil eyed when I try and get by, its a WALKWAY. We found the appropriate garments for a total of £2 (Yey me) and proceeded to pay.

Whilst paying Pops decided she needed a wee now. Great. I  now needed the lady to hurry the hell up and try to find a toilet in town. Hubby spotted M&S had a toilet, so off we went.

As Beboo needed changing due to the big spill, we all needed to go.

We walked all the way to the back of the store to the lift, which was out of order. We had to make a dash to the second lift, so we dodged all the grannies and made it to the lift. Only to join a cue. 

Yup, it seemed the whole of Worcester needed to get in the lift the same time Pops “NEEDED A WEE”

We stood and waited for our turn in the lift, the really slow lift. Then once on the right floor, we needed to locate the toilets. Alas, another cue. 

Hubby whipped Pops into the mens and I dashed to the disabled toilet. Yes, I do have the right to use one, despite all the lovely comments the older generation deemed necessary.

I changed Beboo and decided to go to the toilet as I was there.

So I did.

Then we regrouped after the toilet’tastrophie, I felt very a little stressed but carried on regardless.

I was wondering around and suddenly discovered I needed a wee again, however my bladder gave me no forewarning and decided that now meant now.

Yup, I weed myself.

Now, it has to be said it didn’t feel like I had at the time, but low and behold, I had.

On returning home, as well as changing the beds, I sorted myself out, and I cannot tell you how nice dry pants felt.

However I sat on the toilet, wrestling my icky pants off Narla, it hit me again, just what this disease means.

I am guessing your day was better than mine?!

As A Parent I…

As a parent I find myself doing and saying things I would never have said or done had I not become a parent. Do you ever find youself saying something then stopping and thinking “when did this become okay?” Because I do. Alot.

So this is my list of ‘as a parent I’ anecdotes and odd things I have done and said so far, note the so far. 

As a parent I never truly understood the term ‘weeing in public’ now, with two children who don’t know the meaning of SHUT THE DOOR, even when out and about, I know it now and I also know the shame it brings.

As a parent I am okay with finding a bit of poop on myself and shrugging it off, however should I find poop on my children, I immediately stop, clean and change them.

As a parent I now understand the meaning of hunger, due to the fact every time I eat, I have to give share my food with two little sets of sticky hands.

As a parent I find myself explaining things I never really knew I would have to explain. Take for example today, Pops asks me what a fossil is and although I know what it is, I find myself telling her its a dead bug that turned into stone. Which in essence is correct however she then goes on to tell me she is keeping this fossil because she wants to see it come back to life?

As a parent I literally wish I had no sense of smell because then my day would go quicker with a lot less worrying about who has made/created/spilt that smell.

As a parent I now know the art of being too worried about the children, I have been ‘that’ parent on more than one occasion and I know for a fact, it will never leave me.

As a parent I know they answer to every why question and I feel it coming every time the eldest is near.

As a parent I know the feeling of endless guilt. For shouting, swearing, saying no, giving in, not wanting to play, blaming the wrong child and not being the fun parent enough. I live with it day in day out and I hear comfort eating helps ease the guilt. For all parties.

As a parent I know that I have a masters in the art of lying. From where santa washes his clothes to what those sheep in the field are really doing, I could lie my way out of a toy shop with a hoard of children. Fact.

What are yours?!

Panty Liners! .

Yes here is me paying homage to the incredible panty liner.



 Yes I am a mum of two and yes I do my pelvic floor exercises, but one of my more recent MS bug bares, is my bladder. I am 23 and my bladder issues have began. I have to say I feel like i’m 70. Yes this is embarrassing but I vowed to keep a true account of my MS. I asked my nurse if this was ‘normal’ and she said it was. She explained how my brain messages get confused on the way down and my body often does things it shouldn’t. My bowels have also become so slow. Apparently the two go hand in hand. 


I feel this is just another way the MS has of singling me out and making me different and far from normal. I don’t talk about it with friends as they don’t understand, its not really a massively discussed subject. My family however are aware of some struggles. 


There is literature on this subject but I can hardly say this makes it any easier. I often make a joke out of it to hide the way I really feel. Lets be honest it affects my life and always will. I became acquainted with panty liners during my last pregnancy. So using them was not such an issue. The issue is, its something that will now be on-going because my stupid body does not know what it is doing. 


We spend so much time looking and judging people by the outside appearance that we really do not have a clue about the chaos going on inside. When a stranger looks at me in an odd way I don’t always think yes I shaved my hair and I have tattoos. I think god they know, they know my bladder is shit and I have yet to have a crap this week. Of course they don’t, unless I was to think aloud, which knowing my badly wired up body, it would be possible. 


I know I am not the only one who this happens too but I am 23. Its not fun typing this, I keep thinking, shall I delete this? No, I came here to raise awareness, document my journey and families life so I will carry on. 


I am having a bladder and bowel scan soon, both at home, which I know I am damn lucky to have. Lets hope they can help alleviate this horrid symptom and return my exit functions back to some normal state.