So this is the week I find out my fate. I know I have new activity, so what am I worrying about?
Well I have been forgetting my MS, I have been putting it aside because it just hurts too much. Those who read my letter to MS will know how I feel.
I will be told which, if any treatment I will be having, with treatment comes side effects, which is more of the uncontrollable unknown. I just hope it works, I know nothing will make the vile monster go away, but making it less aggressive would be nice.
I do sometimes find myself sitting and waiting for another attack to happen, part of me wonders if I have already had another, nothing in me feels normal, so how would I be able to tell?
My antidepressants have been keeping me going lately, yes, sad but true. They are giving me this normal feeling and the ability to shut off to anything else.
I saw my bladder lady on Friday (forgot she was coming) She said if I need to have medication for my bladder it will be complicated as it causes pressure in my eyes. My already awful eyes. It basically feels like someone asking if you would rather piss yourself or be blind. Wow what a choice.
Sometimes it really does bring home how terribly wrong your life story has gone. I would never have imagined I’d have MS, not in a million years.
I hate that I have this.
I hate its here for life.
I hate that no-one on the outside looking in truly understands it.
There simply is no more normal.